Closeness and ease of communication are two of the aspects of a parent-child relationship that change during the college years.
August is a time of transition and change on the Tusculum College campus as the slower pace of summer gives way to the hustle and bustle of the return of students to residence halls and classrooms.
It is a time of change for students as they meet new friends, tackle the challenge of a their academic classes, and adapt to life in a residence hall, if they live on campus. Faculty and staff also develop new routines and schedules as they meet and interact with a new group of Tusculum students.
But, perhaps the most difficult transition is the emotional one faced by students and their parents at the start of any new academic year, particularly new students and their families. The college years can be challenging for both parents and their children as both strive to discover their new roles in a changing relationship, whether the child is leaving for school or living at home while attending classes.
The parent-child relationship changes during the college years, and trust is an essential ingredient for that transition to be successful and for relationships between children and parents to strengthen.
For parents, emotions are often mixed between the feelings of wanting their children to remain “their babies” to a desire to see them grow up and become independent, successful adults. Children are seeking to become more independent while also needing to continue to feel love and acceptance of their families.
Parents can be assured that their children will continue to be a big part of your life while a college student, but what will change is the frequency of your contact and the nature of how you communicate. Remember that the first few weeks of school are a particularly busy time for students, and conversations are best kept brief and positive in nature. Parents may also find that texting and emailing may be a better means of communication than a phone call.
Whether students are living on campus or at home, their parents are not able to see every part of their children’s lives as college students. This is where trust plays a major role. You have raised your child well, and you have trust that the solid foundation you have provided with your love and instruction will help your child make good decisions and be successful in college.
Students who are trusted by their parents feels more self confident, can stand up for their beliefs, are more secure with the knowledge of parental support at home and are better equipped to say “no” when that answer is in their best interest.
However, a student who does not feel a high level of trust from his or her parents may defy authority as an expected behavior, may not share with his or her parents what is happening in their life at school, can keep secrets that could be harmful and will look to others for support, including some who may be bad influences.
Parents also are encouraged to remember that this transition may seem overwhelming, but it is a opportunity for their relationship with their child to grow. Parents can know their son or daughter on a different level, and it can lead to good, sometimes necessary conversation about issues. This transition can be a way for both you and your child to try new things and go outside your “comfort zone.”
The transition to college can also help parents and their students learn new things about one another and although each may miss each other, both parents and students can gain a renewed sense of appreciation for one another.
It is the start or continuation of an adult relationship with your child – enjoy this new phase of both of your lives.